The Good, the Bad, and the Traumatic - The Tour Bus Ride From Hell
About 4 days ago, I took a one day Tour of Taiwan with my sister-in-law, her mother, and my nephew. We saw some very interesting sites and overall I was glad I went. But in order to do the trip justice, I have to divide it into three parts.
The Good:
•The tour bus we went on was very comfortable and air-conditioned. Each seat was leathered and individually separated with arm rest.
•The trip included stops at four different sites, some way up in the mountains and some by the seaside. It began at 8:00m and ended roughly at around 4:00pm and coffee, tea, water, and lunch were provided. Total cost - $11.50.
•Some of the cool sites we saw included a Buddhist Education Temple way up in the mountains.
A tunnel that was dug through a towering mountain. We were able to walk through the 2 and ½ mile stretch and marvel at how much work was put into digging this massive mountain.
A bustling fisherman’s wharf with fresh catches of the day on sale.
And finally, we were taken to a place to shop for, of all things, possessions that were seized or didn’t make it through customs at the airport. How weird is that? I don’t know why Colonel Sanders was guarding the front entrance though. Maybe someone tried to smuggle him through customs.
The Bad:
•Besides from my sister-in-law, my nephew, and me, everyone else on the trip was probably over 60 years old. This wasn’t exactly the hippest crowd. They were probably mostly retirees and that would explain why they were free on a Monday to take an all day tour.
•Our host for the trip wasn’t all that helpful. Besides from spilling coffee all over me, she really didn’t do a good job explaining where we were going, what we were seeing, and why these particular places were chosen for the tour. At each stop, people kind of just fended for themselves and walked around. Unfortunately, not everyone adhere to the timeframe she gave us so at times, we had to wait for stragglers to make it back to the bus. But hey, can’t really complain that much when the trip cost less than $12 right?
The Traumatic:
One would suspect that on an 8 hour bus ride, the tour organizers would provide some type of entertainment to pass the time during the long durations between each stop. Since the bus was equipped with TV screens dispersed throughout, I had anticipated that at worse, I would be forced to watch some Chinese movie that I wouldn’t understand and can tune out while I stared out the window. But little did I know that a Chinese movie would have been heaven compared to what was awaiting me.
To my horror, our host about 30 minutes into the trip, began passing around little slips of paper and a thick book, and then pulled out 4 microphones. Microphones? Slips of paper? A book? What in the world? Wait a minute, she can’t be, there’s no way, nooooooooooooooooooo! She’s putting in a Karaoke DVD!
I will now light myself on fire!#@$
Okay, okay, maybe no one will participate and after a few tries, she’ll turn it off and put on a movie or something. But no such luck. I mean people on the bus were fighting for the song book. They were filling out those slips of paper lightning fast and shoving them at the host to play certain songs. And those songs. . .
We’re not talking about popular American sing-a-longs like Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey or even something horrible by Celine Dion. Nooooo! We’re talking about old-school Chinese songs that were popular probably back in the 50’s and 60’s. They were awful, slow, twangy, cheesy, and sung with gusto by these people. What’s worse, I freaking forgot to bring my IPod so I couldn’t drown them out. I was seriously getting an ulcer from the nausea.
I will now shove an ice pick through my ears!#@$
What’s also amazing was that after each song, the people on the bus would applaud. Applaud, are you kidding me? We’re going to encourage this sort of thing? Even more, these people were clamoring for the spotlight. I mean they couldn’t wait to get their eager little hands on those microphones and belt out their favorites. Some couples even did duets. Duets! On a bus! This is not a freaking night club here. In addition, of the 30 people on the bus, about 22 of them sang at least one song. 22 out of 30! and that 30 includes the 4 of us from my family. So really, 22 out of 26 people sang, a whopping 85%. Are you freaking kidding me, 85% of the people wanted to karaoke? (I know I’m using ‘freaking’ a lot but that’s only because I really can’t use that other “F” word I’m really thinking of). I mean who does this? What kind of a world am I living in? How did I end up on an episode of the Twilight Zone?
I will now gauge my eyes out with a spoon!#$%
Did I mention the trip was 8 hours long? The only respite I got from the dreadful singing was when we had to stop at our sight seeing sights. After each stop, I hope and prayed that the karaoke would end once we got back on the bus, but I’m not that lucky of a guy. Nope, the karaoke continued after each stop and tortured me to no end. It wasn’t until the last 30 minute of the bus ride that our host finally turned the darn DVD off. The silence felt like nirvana. But overall, I definitely died a little that day.
The Good:
•The tour bus we went on was very comfortable and air-conditioned. Each seat was leathered and individually separated with arm rest.
•The trip included stops at four different sites, some way up in the mountains and some by the seaside. It began at 8:00m and ended roughly at around 4:00pm and coffee, tea, water, and lunch were provided. Total cost - $11.50.
•Some of the cool sites we saw included a Buddhist Education Temple way up in the mountains.
A tunnel that was dug through a towering mountain. We were able to walk through the 2 and ½ mile stretch and marvel at how much work was put into digging this massive mountain.
A bustling fisherman’s wharf with fresh catches of the day on sale.
And finally, we were taken to a place to shop for, of all things, possessions that were seized or didn’t make it through customs at the airport. How weird is that? I don’t know why Colonel Sanders was guarding the front entrance though. Maybe someone tried to smuggle him through customs.
The Bad:
•Besides from my sister-in-law, my nephew, and me, everyone else on the trip was probably over 60 years old. This wasn’t exactly the hippest crowd. They were probably mostly retirees and that would explain why they were free on a Monday to take an all day tour.
•Our host for the trip wasn’t all that helpful. Besides from spilling coffee all over me, she really didn’t do a good job explaining where we were going, what we were seeing, and why these particular places were chosen for the tour. At each stop, people kind of just fended for themselves and walked around. Unfortunately, not everyone adhere to the timeframe she gave us so at times, we had to wait for stragglers to make it back to the bus. But hey, can’t really complain that much when the trip cost less than $12 right?
The Traumatic:
One would suspect that on an 8 hour bus ride, the tour organizers would provide some type of entertainment to pass the time during the long durations between each stop. Since the bus was equipped with TV screens dispersed throughout, I had anticipated that at worse, I would be forced to watch some Chinese movie that I wouldn’t understand and can tune out while I stared out the window. But little did I know that a Chinese movie would have been heaven compared to what was awaiting me.
To my horror, our host about 30 minutes into the trip, began passing around little slips of paper and a thick book, and then pulled out 4 microphones. Microphones? Slips of paper? A book? What in the world? Wait a minute, she can’t be, there’s no way, nooooooooooooooooooo! She’s putting in a Karaoke DVD!
I will now light myself on fire!#@$
Okay, okay, maybe no one will participate and after a few tries, she’ll turn it off and put on a movie or something. But no such luck. I mean people on the bus were fighting for the song book. They were filling out those slips of paper lightning fast and shoving them at the host to play certain songs. And those songs. . .
We’re not talking about popular American sing-a-longs like Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey or even something horrible by Celine Dion. Nooooo! We’re talking about old-school Chinese songs that were popular probably back in the 50’s and 60’s. They were awful, slow, twangy, cheesy, and sung with gusto by these people. What’s worse, I freaking forgot to bring my IPod so I couldn’t drown them out. I was seriously getting an ulcer from the nausea.
I will now shove an ice pick through my ears!#@$
What’s also amazing was that after each song, the people on the bus would applaud. Applaud, are you kidding me? We’re going to encourage this sort of thing? Even more, these people were clamoring for the spotlight. I mean they couldn’t wait to get their eager little hands on those microphones and belt out their favorites. Some couples even did duets. Duets! On a bus! This is not a freaking night club here. In addition, of the 30 people on the bus, about 22 of them sang at least one song. 22 out of 30! and that 30 includes the 4 of us from my family. So really, 22 out of 26 people sang, a whopping 85%. Are you freaking kidding me, 85% of the people wanted to karaoke? (I know I’m using ‘freaking’ a lot but that’s only because I really can’t use that other “F” word I’m really thinking of). I mean who does this? What kind of a world am I living in? How did I end up on an episode of the Twilight Zone?
I will now gauge my eyes out with a spoon!#$%
Did I mention the trip was 8 hours long? The only respite I got from the dreadful singing was when we had to stop at our sight seeing sights. After each stop, I hope and prayed that the karaoke would end once we got back on the bus, but I’m not that lucky of a guy. Nope, the karaoke continued after each stop and tortured me to no end. It wasn’t until the last 30 minute of the bus ride that our host finally turned the darn DVD off. The silence felt like nirvana. But overall, I definitely died a little that day.
posted by Presto at 3:58 AM
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